“Early in my career I had to choose between an honest arrogance and a hypercritical humility. I deliberately chose an honest arrogance, and I’ve never been sorry.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
Arrogance gets a really bad rap. When it’s fuelled by contempt, disdain, or ugly pretence, it can be a massive turn-off. No-one craves the company of a self-important, self-appointed, condescending somebody. But ditch the rudeness, and arrogance can be a healthy expression of intelligence, wholehearted confidence, and delicious swagger.
Sure, there are ways in which arrogance gets nasty: when self-indulgence consumes your being and you have no time for others; when over-confidence blinds you to your weaknesses; when big-headed success leaves no room for humility; or when your pride gets in the way of valuable connection and collaboration.
With positive arrogance leading the way, you become unstoppable for all the right reasons.
And it’s about so much more than happy, healthy confidence. Your creativity gets fired up, you manifest all kinds of abundance, you connect with like-minded souls, and with all that positivity bursting from your seams, you begin to live the life of your dreams; simply because you unshakeably believe in you, your talents and your dreams.
At the heart of arrogance lies a rich source of courage and strength
It takes arrogance in the form of wild self-belief to start your own company. It takes arrogance in the form of radical creativity to try something new, bold, and rule shattering. It takes arrogance to stay the course when the challenges overwhelm. And when you’re riding high on cosmic waves of success, arrogance will silence the ego’s attempts to drag you down and keep you trusting, believing, focused, and moving onwards.
Ditch the rudeness, and arrogance can be a healthy expression of intelligence, wholehearted confidence, and delicious swagger.
Positive arrogance means you’re aware of your whole self (the light and dark aspects) and conscious of what you bring to the world. It doesn’t mean you’re telling everyone about it, but when asked, you’re self-assured and proud enough to tell anyone who asks.
You know your arrogance is on the right side of humility when you practise staying grounded. When you give back with your energy, time and money. When your sense of humour is quicker to launch than your defensiveness. When you make other people feel worthy and appreciated. When your friends would label you kind, not cocky.
Learn to cultivate positive arrogance
Be as fearless as possible. Recognise your fears when they show up, ask them what they want to tell you, and then kindly ask them to leave. Be persistently optimistic.
Get to know yourself. Dwell on your positive traits, talents, and accomplishments. Write them down, acknowledge them, and stay conscious of how far you’ve come.
Give yourself and others genuine compliments often, and receive them humbly and completely.
Read more. Keep learning. Be sure of your opinions, but stay open to changing them when it feels necessary. Live your values every day.
Stop apologising for all the things. Stop discounting your prices. Stop judging others. Set up your boundaries and burn them for no-one.
Get grounded. Grow roots every day. Eat well. Exercise. Meditate. Find time to be still so you feel sure-footed and anchored into yourself. From here, you’ll live intentionally and with far fewer regrets or mistakes.
See roadblocks as an encouraging sign to try a new way. Know that ‘no’ simply means ‘not them’ or ‘not right now’. Embrace your challenges as your greatest opportunities to learn and flourish.
Become conscious of your thoughts, because each and every one of them is co-creating your reality. Think positively, mindfully, and abundantly. Choose motivating thoughts. Notice any thoughts that don’t light you up, and exchange them for new ones.
Leave any job, company, relationship, friendship, partnership, or group that doesn’t make you feel expansive and truly yourself. You don’t need to pack your bags anytime you feel challenged, but overall you should love what you do and the people you’ve surrounded yourself with.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need to be a leader, an extrovert, or a trailblazer to harness arrogance. Arrogance is just as essential for those who work solo, work quietly, or aren’t inclined to lead. An optimistic and arrogant introvert is as much of a force as any other kind.
Now go and change the world
When you live and breathe as though you’re entitled to a great life, you’ll get labelled as arrogant… or worse. Naïve. Brash. Ignorant. Rude. But those who genuinely feel limitless, courageous, gifted and more than a little empowered are the ones who will change the world.
It’s difficult to inspire others if you don’t inspire yourself. It’s exhausting trying to make radical changes, to test the waters and break rules, if you’re unsure of who you are and your abilities. And it’s tiresome trying to sell yourself when you lack a real sense of worth.
Believe in yourself. Back yourself. Stop waiting for permission.
Kris is a soul-led wordsmith, highly intuitive writer and editor, untamable foodie and wholehearted mama. She adores tree hugging, salted caramel, green tea, meditation and yoga, and laughs like it’s a competitive sport. krisfranken.com