Lena Dunham Slams Magazine Cover Preaching Weight Loss

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What she said.

Production still from HBO's Girls

Publications are bound to think twice before using Lena Dunham’s picture to preach about weight-loss, with the Girls star reacting on Instagram today to call out the media (once again) for holding women up to unattainable standards and projecting a narrow view of beauty. In a 20-point – sarcastic and equally brilliant – list, Lena’s reaction came after being used as a poster child alongside other celebrities, like Julianne Hough, Hilary Duff and Christina El Moussa, as muses for celebrity “slim-down diet tips” in Us Weekly. 

The starlet concluded her commentary with a profound takeaway:

“I have no tips, I give no tips, I don’t want to be on this cover cuz [sic] it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx [sic].”

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Interested in her other 19 (tongue in cheek) advice points for her devoted Gen Y followers? Here they are, unedited…

1. anxiety disorder*
2. resultant constant nausea
3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny
4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future
5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus*
6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through smail mail
7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains
8. finally realizing superheroes aren’t real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they’d handle this)
9. marching your ass off
10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge
11. sleeping 19 hours a day
12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut
13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t
14. realizing who ya real friends are
15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved)
16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency*
17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com
18. keeping your back arched against the wind
19. um, who the fuck cares?

* Star indicates a pre-existing condition

20 slimdown diet tips! 1. anxiety disorder * 2. resultant constant nausea 3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny 4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future 5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus * 6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through smail mail 7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains 8. finally realizing superheroes aren't real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they'd handle this) 9. marching your ass off 10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge 11. sleeping 19 hours a day 12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut 13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don't 14. realizing who ya real friends are 15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved) 16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency * 17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com 18. keeping your back arched against the wind 19. um, who the fuck cares? 20. I have no tips I give no tips I don't want to be on this cover cuz it's diametrically opposed to everything I've fought my whole career for and it's not a compliment to me because it's not an achievement thanx * Star indicates a pre-existing condition

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

And this is just another reason she deserves a standing ovation.

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